Fumar

"Custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black stinking fume thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless."
An old European king, c. 1600

Lesegue, 1884

...said, what "is a disease that licks the joints, but bites the heart"?

mindful Soul

in the depths of fatigue and hunger
cold and lonesome
when all to be relied on is your mind
your thoughts, actions
what would you do?

Time overcomes fatigue
food and drink nourish the body
wools and heat bring warmth
but the mind wanders...
in search of understanding, peace, escape, ease, comfort
thirsty for the truth, the light

Feel...

Feelings of boredom and doom
and restlessness and anger
with a little bit of impatience
spiked by sadness
and disappointment
...sprinkles of fear
nervousness
vanish
when the heart surrenders
to the unpredictable
the undeniable
truth
of a higher existence
everywhere

Monday After Spring Break

Spring break this year was a week full of errands and tying loose ends. Did not feel like much of a break, though a break from classes it was. To re-take a practical is almost like having to relive just all the most cumbersome moments of your entire life simultaneously. But, maybe there is a point to all this, maybe this is the way to force lessons down our axons, maybe this makes a better student, better doctor, better person...No, just a better grade holder, if you pass or make it to the mean, or one standard deviation below it.

Standard deviation...i don't think so.
Deviation has no standards :)
lol...better go memorize the brachial plexus!

Maula ya sallay wa sallam daiimann abadann, 'ala habibika khair'il khalkhi kullihimi...

Anxiety

There is an illness called the Medical Student Syndrome and I have it.

We're studying Neuroscience and of course we learn some psychiatry. Is it a mood disorder, dysthymia, mania...no...it's definitely anxiety. What am I so anxious about? Too many things...

My thoughts jump from one issue to another
with
out
completing
the thought process.
Health, food, love, parents, safety, school, investment, sleep, prayer, friends travel tv style comfort relatives petsflowerslanguagetimetomorrowyesterdaytodaytonightpsycheandonandonandonandon

Pain

My grandma used a quote frequently "wounds caused by sword can heal, but never does the wound caused by tongue."

I do believe in communication rather than silence, especially when it comes to disagreements. However, sometimes, if the words are harsh, silence can be so much better.

Yesterday, I got my wisdom teeth surgically removed. Because I chose only local anesthesia, it was quite painful after the surgery. Since then, my entire time has been focused on reduction of the pain and swelling, what with ice packs, pain meds, etc.

Talking less helps as well...

Yet, today, a loved one said one careless sentence and it hurt me more; enough to bring tears...

Distance

...makes a heart grow fonder
...makes life sadder
...makes breathing harder

Taking relationships for granted

~parents~

Following realization
ensues a sensation

De aqui al cielo

Naya Saal Naya Haal

Monday, July 25, 2005

:-)

He actually said: "cutie pie"
Haai may marjava.n!! 'twas sincere and totally flattering.
If I could I'd do an ummwah on him right now...lol

Friday, July 22, 2005

Zindagi

Zindagi jab bhi
teray bazm may
laati hey hamay,
Ye zamee.n chand say
behettar
nazar aati hey hamay.
- part of a ghazal (poem) in Urdu from an old Indian Movie (Bazaar?)
My loose translation:
Whenever life brings me in your company,
This land looks better than the moon to me.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

HYpothetical DIlemma

What do you do if you're in love with a Sufi,
- an unattached, distant, stanger,
with his mind, spiritual drive, words, poetry...
Knowing that he is incapable of feeling the same way,
lest he ever does,
he will no longer be who he is,
thus, no longer your object of affection...?

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Rising, In Love

He is regretful of his past
Convenient and complicated
Tastes of emotion.
He is immune to failure.
Others' weaknesses make him stronger,
colder.

Somewhere in the midst of his seasons
She is precisely in love.
She knows
Of icy-cold
brittle and weak
lost causes
And looks only, eagerly, to the future.
Shuts her eyes to focus,
Let effort sleep and fate run its cozy course
While her soul pursues
A higher goal

In tranquility.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

On my mind...

Today, ahem...I mean yesterday was a busy day,
karahi gosht
Deed's portrait
sad, sad ending of a strange, strange friendship
Doing the right thing, however difficult, lifts the burden of guilt forever.
Catching-up w/email can be very satisfying
time spent reading email = $$
time spent replying = $$$
coffee to help endure sleepless nights = $$$$
Nostalgia and hearing from old friends = priceless

shab bakhair

~Curious Insomniac

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Today

I had a mughali paratha
...it's food
:)
It was Delicious!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Explosions

I feel
a dose of frustration
running
in my veins.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/

Simple beginnings

"I can't get no satisfaction...yeah, yeah, yeah...no, no, no.
I can't get no satisfaction...n i try, n i try, n i try."

So, this is my first attempt at blogging after wanting to do so for a long time. I already feel accomplished.

Previous Posts

· :-)

· Zindagi

· HYpothetical DIlemma

· Rising, In Love

· For the fabulous and single chicas...

· On my mind...

· Today

· Parking Lot Security

· Jum'ah Mubarak

· Explosions

Archives

· July 2005